All portions of this page Copyright 1996 Chris Fisher
This is the beginning of the added information/Hier beginnt die durch BOERSE.DE hinzugefügte Information

Added information by BOERSE.DE http://boerse.de:

This is a mirrored snapshot of the OFFICIAL NSA.ORG WEB SITE with the internet address

http://www.nsa.org

made on Dec/24/1996 by BOERSE.DE. Because there is no email address we were not able to ask Mr. Fisher for his approval:

"Dear Mr. Fisher!

Please send an email to [email protected] if you don't agree with this mirror site (and we will delete it). Thanks for this humorous contribution to the web community. Hopefully every potential tyrant on earth will read this page and get impressed. Question: Can a computer be megalomaniac? Answer: No! He has no soul! Question: Why doesn't a computer have a soul? Answer: Because he has no own volition! ... Unfortunately Adolf Hitler and his willing executors were no computers. :-( Computers can be brought back to reason easily, by simply rebooting. :-)

Since the end of cold war, may be the NSA (National Security Agency), America's high tech secret service, is searching for new tasks? Why not make a snapshot of the internet on a quarterly basis and make it available to the public in altavista manner? IMHO this could be very useful, at least for some internet historians who don't want to forget anything.

Will you open your archives to everybody on the web some day in the future? May be with a delay of 25 years? OTOH As far as I'm concerned, I'm not interested in your actor database and you could delete it. (;-) But may be I would be interested in some other databases?

Why not make a Web Site about the history of espionage? May be gathering information is the destination of mankind initiated by the big bang. A principle of the biological and the cultural evolution is "trial and error" and not every gathered information will be needed by mankind forever. But who wants to decide which information is the "best"? Every human being on earth should be able to take this decision by it's own.

Merry Christmas 1996!...Willi Rauffer [Publisher of BOERSE.DE]"

++++++++++ German translation/Deutsche Übersetzung ++++++++++

Durch BOERSE.DE hinzugefügte Information http://boerse.de:

Dies ist ein gespiegelter Schnappschuß der OFFICIAL NSA.ORG WEB SITE mit der Internet Adresse

http://www.nsa.org

vom 24. Dez. 1996, gemacht von BOERSE.DE. Da keine E-Mail Adresse angegeben ist, konnten wir Mr. Fisher leider nicht um Erlaubnis fragen:

"Sehr geehrter Mr. Fisher,

bitte senden Sie eine E-Mail an [email protected], falls Sie mit dieser Mirror Site nicht einverstanden sind. Wir werden sie dann löschen. Vielen Dank für diesen humorvollen Beitrag zur Web Kultur. Hoffentlich liest jeder potentielle Tyrann der Erde diese Seite und läßt sich davon beeindrucken. Frage: Kann ein Computer größenwahnsinnig sein? Antwort: Nein! Er hat keine Seele! Frage: Warum hat ein Computer keine Seele? Antwort: Weil er keinen eigenen Willen besitzt! ... Leider waren Adolf Hitler und seine willigen Vollstrecker keine Computer. :-( Computer kann man einfach zur Vernunft bringen, indem man sie neu startet. :-)

Seit dem Ende des kalten Krieges ist die NSA (National Security Agency), Amerikas High Tech Geheimdienst, möglicherweise auf der Suche nach neuen Aufgaben? Wieso macht man nicht jedes Quartal eine Momentaufnahme des Internets und stellt sie der Öffentlichkeit nach dem Vorbild von Altavista zur Verfügung? Meiner bescheidenen Meinung nach könnte dies zumindest für einige Internet Historiker, die nichts vergessen wollen, sehr nützlich sein.

Werden Sie eines Tages Ihre Archive für jedermann im Web öffnen? Eventuell mit einer Zeitverzögerung von 25 Jahren? Allerdings bin ich nicht an Ihrer Schauspieler Datenbank interessiert und meinetwegen könnten Sie diese löschen. (;-) Aber möglicherweise wäre ich an ein paar anderen Datenbanken interessiert?

Wie wäre es mit einer Web Site über die Geschichte der Spionage? Möglicherweise ist es die Bestimmung der Menschheit, Informationen zu sammeln; initiiert durch den Urknall. Ein Prinzip der biologischen und kulturellen Evolution ist "Versuch und Irrtum" und nicht jede gesammelte Information wird von der Menschheit für immer gebraucht werden. Aber wer will entscheiden, welche Information am "Besten" ist? Jeder Mensch auf der Erde sollte in der Lage sein, diese Entscheidung für sich selbst zu treffen.

> Frohe Weihnachten 1996!...Willi Rauffer [Herausgeber von BOERSE.DE]"

This is the end of the added information/Hier endet die durch BOERSE.DE hinzugefügte Information

Attention:

This site is covered on section 234.21a 26b stroke 6 of the Illegal Immigration Act. It also covered under form 32.21b (Version 2.321 SecLev 3) of the Freedom Of Information Act. Anyone caught violating any of the regulations put forth in these documents will be severely punished in an act so horrible and unthinkable that the only phrase we can legally use is: "Tim Pierce, Dave 'Im k-k00l' Delaney and Joel Furr walk into a bar..." Don't make us use the rest... for both your sake and ours.

NEW POLICY STATEMENT: Here in the NSA we have decided upon a radical new policy in the hopes of making our job quite a bit easier. It isn't easy monitoring 33.7% of the US population so in a bold move we are now changing a few key policies to allow us to spread our monitoring activities to the foriegn countries which really need it (most notably Canada, don't think we didn't see Canadian Bacon).

NEW POLICES

Actor Database we will no longer be maintaining a database on actors. In the past we felt it was in the best intrest of national security to not only know all public info on actors but rather hidden, deep details as well. This means we will no longer be maintaing our famed, Penis Database, Urination Stats, Breast Enlargement, Scientology Members, Alien Abductees, Family Members who claimed they were Jesus, Bed Wetters or Those who sleep with monkeys databases. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause to the various trade publications.

Information will now be widely dispersed. We have come to the conclusion that the only way to deal with the growing threats of violence and flower theft in the US is to make all information no matter the content free to anyone. Please check below for some examples of our new open attitude!

BLACK BUDGET spending analysis will now be made public. It can be found later on in this document.

Tacobell has been announced as the offical food of the 1996-1997 NSA snoop team! Congradulations PepsiCo even though you did take tacobell.com from me with the help of the idiotic Internic who is afraid of a little suit.

Addidas is the offical footware of the 1996-1997 NSA Cryptology Department and in honour of this proud achievement the Siox City Senior Citizenz Choir will be rendering thier wonderous represention of "My Addidas" later this year.

BLACK BUDGET ANALYSIS

In the spirit of our new open policy below you will find the infamous black budget.

$323.21 Paperclips
$23,238 Toilet Seat Covers (bought used from the US Military!)
$8.42 Assorted Smiley stickers for when an agent did a good job.
$9,323,837 Charge account at The Sharper Image
$323,938,232 These are funds we can't locate. Must be an error in the accounting package.

Information Links!

In the spirit of our new pledge to open information below you will find quite a few links to many useful information sites, it is our hope one day to have all of these sites approved by the NRA. We are sorry if some of the below links do not contain much information because contrary to popular belief it is hard to find good bomb plans on the net.

Porn Site of the Day
MIT Guide to LockPicking
Hacking Guide
How to Build Bombs
Pretty Good Privacy
Newsgroup: alt.pud
Newsgroup: hsv.general
Tacobell Web Page
Drug Information

JUST ANNOUNCED NEW NSA APPROVED ENCRYPTION TECHNOLOGY

We have just approved a radical new encryption technology called double XOR. Double XOR is an awesomely powerful encryption technology that allows you to safely encrypt your data from prying eyes. For more information please contact your unix systems administrator or [email protected].